Healing a Broken Heart

If you were in a relationship — or thought you were — and it’s over now, you’re probably in a lot of pain.

There are several stages to recovery.  The first is to allow yourself to grieve.  Though there can be some benefit to acting happy until you forget about your pain, denial usually postpones the pain.  It doesn’t remove it.

Worse, if you’re shutting off your emotions to avoid pain, you can miss important cues that could help you, long term.  You might even overlook Mr. Right.

One of the best ways to deal with heartbreak is to process it through physical activity.  Give your apartment a good “spring cleaning.”  Remove all reminders of your relationship.  (Don’t throw them all out, just put them in storage, for now.)

Join a gym or start an exercise program at home.  Find a friend to walk with, daily; many women process things — and talk them out better — when they’re walking.

You’ll have sad times and happy times.  The happy times will gradually push out the sadness.  That’s part of healing.

So, step one is to allow yourself time to recover, at least briefly.

How long is “briefly”?  When you’ve just broken up, talk with a few friends you trust.  Explain to them that you need to grieve, but if it looks like it’s going on for too long, they need to tell you.  In some cases, professional help may be needed, whether that’s a heart-to-heart talk with your minister or time with a professional counselor.

The next step is to gradually resume your normal routines.

Once you’re feeling even a little bit better, get out and see people.  See lots of people.  It’s too early to date again, but the sooner you resume a social life and see friends, the sooner you’ll get over Mr. Wrong.

You’ll know you’re recovering when you can look back on the relationship without anguish.  Another sign is when you can calmly evaluate what went wrong, on both sides, without blaming him or yourself too much.

When you can shrug and say, “It just didn’t work out,” you’re ready to date again.

The final step is to learn more about relationships, and begin dating again.  That’s the kind of information you’ll find at this website.

The following video is sweet and it includes a lot of truth.  Tyler is just a kid, and he says many things that are cliches.  They’re also things you may need to hear, as you’re recovering from a breakup.  He speaks from the heart.