Do you know the signs that he’s “just not that into you”?
Do you know how to get your relationship unstuck and moving towards marriage?
A lot of women’s magazines will tell you to play “hard to get.” They explain that, if he thinks he might lose you, he’ll come to his senses and do everything he can to make you happy again.
Others will tell you to make yourself more attractive: Lose a few pounds. Change your hairstyle or hair color. Update your wardrobe. Learn some new moves to increase his pleasure when you’re alone.
… MORE WRONG ANSWERS!
When you were first dating, you followed “the rules” you thought would work. You asked him about his career. You pretended to be interested in his hobbies. You paid close attention to the cues he sent about what he likes in a woman, and you did your best to become that woman.
But somehow, at the end of each date, you always felt like you’d missed something important. That deep connection was almost there, but not quite.
Weeks, months, or even years later, you feel like you’re the one doing all the work in the relationship… and he’s still putting on the brakes when it comes to commitment.
Seriously, do you think you can keep all of that up after you’re married (if he ever proposes), and maintain the house, cook the meals, take the kids to ballet classes and soccer, and maybe hold down a job, too?
Yes, it’s reality-check time.
You’ve been a sucker for media manipulation. Magazines and TV shows have played on your insecurities. They’ve given you bad advice, just so you’ll buy the next issue (or watch the next show) to learn what you’re not doing right.
It’s not about faking it. Not in terms of your interests, and not in bed.
It’s not about your weight. It’s not about your job, or how busy you are. It’s not about your age or the pressure of your biological clock. It’s not even about those bouts of PMS.
It’s about him, and the four core feelings that make him feel conflicted, inside, without ever telling you what’s going on.
Why is he doing that? Because he doesn’t even know he’s sabotaging himself. In fact, he probably set the trap — the one that prevents him from finding the deep emotional connection he wants — on the very first date… and he hasn’t a clue what he did wrong.
Now it’s your turn to put on the brakes. Take a deep breath, and find better answers.
Fortunately, the answers are easy to find if you know where to look. And, you can fix your broken relationship, bring romance back into your life, and have fun at the same time.
Girl Gets Ring is the system you’re looking for.
You won’t have to be pushy. You won’t be playing hard-to-get. You won’t pretend to be someone you’re not. And, it won’t cost you an arm and a leg, the way some dating sites do.
This system is going to bring honesty back into your relationship. It can change the very second you begin using the quick-start tips in the Girl Gets Ring system.
Get ready for your man to do a double-take, like he’s seeing you with fresh eyes. Expect him to pause, and ask himself why he didn’t see the real you — the wonderful woman he wants to be with — until now.
This system is going to get him past his fears of commitment… the same worries that have ruined his past relationships and made him almost lose you, too.
No manipulation is required. No silly game-playing, and no ridiculous scripts that sound as fake as they are.
Girl Gets Ring is the way to start fresh in your relationship, with a level of honesty that’s going to be a breath of fresh air for both of you.
The best time to learn about engagement rings is before you’re starry-eyed and so deeply in love, practical matters don’t interest you.
If you’re on a budget — and sometimes, even if you’re not — a CZ can be better than a diamond.
What’s a CZ? A “CZ” is a cubic zirconia stone. It can also be called cubic zirconium or (rarely) a cubic zirconian stone. Most people just call them “CZs.”
A CZ could be called a fake diamond. That’s not the right way to describe them. A cubic zirconia stone more like a clone of a diamond. It’s man-made and it’s grown in a laboratory, and it has most (not all) of the same features as a diamond.
CZs come in five grades, A, AA, AAA, AAAA, and AAAAA. If someone tries to sell you a “number 1, Grade A cubic zirconia ring” and make it sound like it’s the ultimate grade, run in the opposite direction. Either the seller hasn’t a clue, or he’s conning you.
Generally, you’ll want a 4A or a 5A (that’s AAAAA) cubic zirconium stone. That’s what reputable dealers use.
The better the quality, the prettier and more durable the stone will be.
CZs are scratch resistant.
Most CZ stones have a hardness of 8.5. Diamonds are at the top of the scale, with a hardness of 10. This means that CZs are scratch resistant, but they’re not as hard as a diamond, which can be almost impossible to scratch or break.
An object generally can’t be scratched by anything softer than it is. Gold has a hardness of about 3, the same as most silvers. Tooth enamel is around 5, and a knife is usually around 6. A steel file can have a hardness around 8, and tungsten carbide (the hardest) is about 8.5 to 9 in hardness.
So, unless you’re handling diamonds, tungsten carbide, or gemstones like sapphires and emeralds, few objects will damage your CZ stone. Nevertheless, it’s a good idea to take off your ring if you’re doing anything where you’ll be hitting the ring against hard surfaces.
CZs are flawless but brittle.
CZs are flawless. Diamonds almost always have a flaw. That means: If you hit a diamond “just so,” it can shatter into pieces. (You’ve probably seen this in movies where the thief is asking a diamond expert to cut a stolen diamond so it’ll look different, and to get away with the theft.)
However, CZs are brittle. They can chip and, even if they’re just micro-chips you can barely see without a magnifying glass, a CZ can lose its sparkle after a few months of careless handling. CZs are also heat-sensitive. Don’t wear your CZ ring if you’re cooking and something hot — even a fleck of oil — might spatter on it.
And, if you need to get your engagement ring resized, be sure to tell the jeweler that the stone is a CZ. (He probably won’t be able to tell the difference between a CZ and a diamond, just by looking at it.)
CZs have more color (“fire”) than many diamonds do.
Diamonds are usually pure white or blue-white, unless you choose a colored diamond.
CZs have more color in them — more “fire” — than most diamonds. In fact, if you put a high-quality, brilliant CZ next to a high-quality, brilliant diamond, many people will prefer the CZ. It catches the light in different ways, and sparkles differently from a diamond. Because a CZ is man-made, jewelers are able to design and cut CZs so they are absolutely dazzling.
So, your new CZ is likely to look prettier than a diamond, in sunlight and most artificial light. (However, if you’re in a club with ultraviolet lights, your CZ will look yellow, green or beige; diamonds look blue under ultraviolet light.
CZs cost about one-tenth as much as diamonds.
One of the most important things to remember is: CZs cost about 1/10 as much as a comparable diamond.
This means you can buy a larger, prettier CZ for less than you’d spend on a small diamond… but don’t get one that’s too big. Remember that CZs can weigh almost twice as much as diamonds of the same size. So, don’t get a stone that’s so heavy, it’s going to keep twisting so the stone is on the palm-side of your hand.
You can buy CZ rings for under $60. However, they’re usually set in inexpensive metals. That’s fine if you’re on a strict budget, or if the ring is just for fun.
For a better CZ ring made with genuine (not plated) precious metals, expect to spend about $200 and possibly more.
The best engagement ring strategy if you’re on a budget: CZ now, diamond later.
If you want the most beautiful ring for the smallest amount of money, here’s what I recommend: Buy a lovely CZ stone set in a good-quality 14k ring. Later, when you can afford it, replace the CZ with a real diamond that’s the same size.
Here’s the top-rated CZ engagement ring at Amazon.com. It’s white gold, not plated, and it’s a beautiful design that brides absolutely love.
The best engagement ring is one that you love to wear, that will last forever, and it’s in your price range.
That sounds simple enough, but there are a few things to think about.
Will you love to wear your engagement ring?
It’s easy to think, “Of course I’ll love to wear my engagement ring!” In real life, you should probably think carefully and make practical choices… as well as romantic ones.
- Is the engagement ring comfortable? Too many brides-to-be try on a ring and something rubs, or the weight of the stone makes it swing around the finger. They figure they’ll “get used to it.” Usually, the problem becomes more annoying. The bride doesn’t get used to it. So, before you say it’s the right ring and start wearing it daily, make sure it fits right and the setting is right for your hand and your fingers.
- Is it pretty? Getting engaged will put stars in any bride-to-be’s eyes. If you’re “happy enough” with the ring you’ve tried on, but your eye keeps wandering to another one, don’t say yes to the one you’ve tried on. Keep looking.
- Is the stone durable? Sometimes, you and your Prince Charming can’t afford an expensive engagement ring. In most cases, it’s okay to choose one with an inexpensive stone, especially a cubic zirconia, often called a “CZ.” Cubic zirconia stones are similar to diamonds, but they’re man-made. They have a hardness of 8.5, which means they’re scratch resistant. Diamonds have a hardness of 10 — the top of the scale — which means they’re nearly impossible to scratch or crack in everyday use. However, it’s better to buy a good CZ than a really flawed (and inexpensive) diamond. (See my article about when it’s better to buy a CZ than a diamond.)
- Are the band and setting durable? Sometimes, engagement ring bands and settings are actually plated. Some “white gold” rings are gold underneath a platinum or other silvery coating. In time, that coating will wear off. Likewise, some “gold” rings are just gold plate over silver or stainless steel. The gold will wear off.
Learn about diamonds, CZs, precious metals, and settings before you make a decision. Your engagement ring should be something you treasure for a lifetime. Take the time you need to make the right choice, and you’ll be glad you did.
Can you and your partner afford your engagement ring?
You’re deeply in love, and you’re probably optimistic about how much you can afford, especially if you put the ring on a credit card. However, if one of you becomes unemployed, or either (or both) of you have sudden expenses or have to take a pay cut, you don’t want to resent the expense of the ring. Even worse, you don’t want to have to give it back, if you can’t make the payments.
It’s better to choose a ring that makes you happy and one that you can afford. You don’t have to pay a lot to get the perfect ring.
Is an engagement ring right for you?
An engagement ring is a tradition. However, it’s not required. If the time isn’t right for you two to buy the engagement ring you’d like, it’s okay to get a non-traditional engagement ring… or skip the engagement ring altogether.
You might prefer to put the money into a down payment on a condo or house. That will last just as long, and you’ll enjoy it every day, too.
Are you getting the best deal?
Jewelry stores love to lure people into the store with sparkly rings in their windows. You may not realize that they have special lighting that makes the rings look even prettier.
It’s fine to visit a jewelry store to find out what size ring is right for you. That will take about five minutes. You’ll slide on a few rings (called “sizers”) and see which is most comfortable without slipping off.
Then, say thank you and leave the store. Don’t give them your name.
(Some jewelry stores practically demand your first name when you arrive. That’s to make you think they’re your friends. They’re not.)
Don’t give them your contact information. No phone number and no email.
Above all, don’t feel like you have to make excuses for leaving the store. Once you’ve learned your ring size, you’ve accomplished your goal.
Just smile and say, “Thanks, that’s all we needed today,” and leave.
Commit to this plan before you get to the store! Jewelry salespeople are trained in great selling techniques. You might not even be aware of the psychology they’re using.
Decide what you want, and stick to the plan.
Before you two agree on an engagement ring, decide what you want. Plan the kind of ring you want — the metal and the stone that suit your needs. Agree on a budget, and do not spend a cent more than that.
Shop for the best prices, but also be sure they have an easy return policy, in case the ring isn’t quite right for you. That’s one reason why many people buy their engagement rings at Amazon.com: The rings are often sold at the lowest possible price, and returns and exchanges are simple.
Enjoy your ring!